part 6
Now here I was in Hull and my dad coming and going on the fishing trawlers gone for weeks and home drunk and crazy for a week or 10 days then back to the ship. A life of hell I had a good job that I really liked as a cashier in the canteen of a government training center,but other than my job I had no life no friends of my own age, no music no dancing, and was trapped in a dysfunctional relationship with my dad.
Every time I wanted to leave he would threaten to commit suicide and I really thought he would do it and felt trapped I wanted to leave but was afraid he would die if I left. I could not date or have any friends he would scare them away and was destroying my spirit. I hit rock bottom and had a nervous breakdown.
I was 18 years old and woke up in a hospital my wrists bandaged up and in the bed next to me a very pretty young women was ranting and raving her screams pain and anguish of her life told for hours in the darkness of the night . I listened to her words and felt her pain and realized that I did not want to be her.